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When to call it a day


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#16 Latin pianist

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Posted 24 July 2019 - 08:53

Like that rule of 3. I have several that comply with Rules 1 and 3. It does surprise me how much progress some non practisers achieve. I think if it was 2 and 3, I wouldn't want to teach someone who didn't enjoy it.
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#17 BabyGrand

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Posted 26 July 2019 - 18:56

Thought you might like an update.  

 

I waited a couple of weeks before speaking to the parents, because I wanted to have a chance to think things through clearly and calmly.  I felt better after posting here, with clear options in front of me rather than not knowing what to do, and also after recouping a bit of strength after the end of term, I felt much less overwhelmed by the whole thing and better able to think through my options.  

 

I spoke to his parents and raised the possibility of moving to a new teacher, but said I was also happy to try piano in September for a one month trial period.  I was happy with either choice and felt comfortable about it.  After giving it some thought, they have decided to call it a day and just stop lessons now.  

 

So that's that!  I feel good about it because I'm happy I made the right choice and that I didn't give up on him, but I'm glad it has resolved in a way that we're all in agreement (except the little boy, who is really upset sad.png).  I do hope he may come back to music - on whatever instrument - when he's a bit older.  

 

But that's it sorted.  smile.png   Thanks again to everyone for you advice and support!  


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#18 BadStrad

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Posted 26 July 2019 - 20:59

Thank you for the update BG. Good to hear that the situation was resolved amicably.

Onwards and upwards.
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#19 BabyGrand

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 17:53

Thank you for the update BG. Good to hear that the situation was resolved amicably.

 

Well, I thought it was.  I've just had a rather unpleasant message from them.  sad.png   I feel awful now.  Sigh.  


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#20 Doodle

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 17:59

 

Thank you for the update BG. Good to hear that the situation was resolved amicably.

 

Well, I thought it was.  I've just had a rather unpleasant message from them.  sad.png   I feel awful now.  Sigh.  

 

Oh no!  Sorry to read that x


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#21 Norway

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 18:01

Don't reply to it. They are blaming you for their own failings. Just let them go! grouphug.gif


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#22 BabyGrand

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 18:28

Thank you both.  Yes, you're right Norway.  I am not going to reply.  It is very tempting to defend myself, because what they're accusing me of is just not how I would ever be, so it really stings for them to say those things when I know it's not true at all, but I don't think there's any point trying to reason with them at this point.  

 

It was quite a shock, when it seemed like things were fine, and has shaken me up.  But, as I said in Molly M's thread, I can't control other people's responses, only my own.  It has made me feel awful, which I suspect was the intention (to make me feel guilty).  But I know I haven't done what they said.  I will cry a little, take a deep breath, and move on....  


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#23 BabyGrand

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 18:30

I also wonder if one reason their tone has suddenly changed is because I reminded them they have a payment they owe me....  rolleyes.gif


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#24 Gran'piano

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 19:21

Really a rough turn–around. Making the other party feel guilty is a fantastic method of getting one’s own back whether it is done with that in mind or not. Hope you can get some sleep. This sort of thing haunts me in the wee small hours...
Fingers crossed that you can put it behind you.
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#25 jenny

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Posted 27 July 2019 - 19:40

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know how what kind of effect this can have. I had a couple of families last year who had always seemed helpful and supportive (even friendly) but who became really difficult and left owing me money and also piano books that were never returned. Even though we're professionals and perhaps should get used to dealing with this sort of situation, it always feels personal and therefore hurtful, because we care so much about our pupils. Thank goodness most of our families are so lovely. Please try not to let it upset you too much, as difficult as that will seem right now. grouphug.gif    


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#26 Aquarelle

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Posted 28 July 2019 - 16:31

BabyGrand I have followed this thread but have been too tired to feel able to say anything really constructive - and at least knew you were getting a lot of support from forum members. But after this unpleasant turn around I just wanted to pop in and say don't let it get at you.  Being unpleasant by e-mail is a cowardly thing to do and you are right to decide not to reply. I know it isn't easy but try just to forget this incident and concentrate on other pupils. And give yourself a treat of some kind - buy yourself a present or go and do something you like doing.  In a little while, when you can look back on it from a distance, it will simply be water under the bridge. Life is too short to let people get at you.


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#27 Dorcas

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Posted 28 July 2019 - 19:15

100% the nasty message is to wriggle out of making the payment they owe.  They think they can bully you.  I hope the amount is not much, as you might not receive it.  


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#28 Piano Meg

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Posted 28 July 2019 - 20:10

So glad to hear that, despite the unpleasantness, you will soon be free of the difficulty and you are keeping your chin up - knowing that you did the right thing (which you did!). Hopefully the latter will help the upset pass all the more quickly! In the meantime, grouphug.gif

 

Also, note to self: remember to get any fees paid/books returned before having difficult conversations!! 


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